What it means to be an artist

Today I helped change the pump on my sister/brother-in-law's aerobic septic tank. (The sister-in-law was calling it Pump Day instead of Hump Day. Get it? LOL Don't boo me!) I volunteered to do this so I'd know how it's done. Why? Because when you're an artist, you don't make a lot of money, and add to that our debt from school, and you have a recipe for really not having any money. Sure, we're paying our debt off as fast as we can, but we might need to know how to do something like change a pump on an aerobic septic system one day. It wasn't too hard, just a little dirty and there was a slight learning curve and it was hot as blazes. If we do it again, I'm sure it would go faster. Before doing it, I was joking about starting a business changing pumps, after, I wished I had gone to school to be an oil and gas engineer, so I'd just have to fork over the money for someone else to do it.

My husband and I are also painting our neighbors house. I think I mentioned that before. It's taking way long than we imagined, but we'd never painted a house before. I think we should have it done in a few weeks. We need the money, and basically, freelance is just that. Unpredictable and unreliable. And lately I've had a good bit, but that could change at any moment. Which is why if you want to be an artist, you should NEVER go into debt to do it. Not for any reason, no matter what anyone tells you to the contrary. No. Matter. What.

In our over-sensitive whiny PC world, stereotypes are usually unacceptable, but whether you like it or not, stereotypes are often stereotypes for a reason. And in this case, there's a reason why starving artist is one of them.You want to be an artist? Plan on waiting tables, changing aerobic septic pumps and painting houses while you're at it. I've actually never waited tables. I'm too much of a klutz, I'm sure I'd spill stuff all over the diners.

Anyway, I haven't written in a while because finals were pretty busy, I went to visit family in North Carolina on May 20th and the Friday before that fell and hurt myself pretty badly. I had the worst bruise I'd ever seen on my lower stomach. I was grateful though that I didn't break anything or hit my head or knock my teeth out. The plane ride was amazingly horrible on the way, but the TSA was very nice. Maybe I'll try to write a little more often now that I'm feeling better. I hurt like hell for over a week. Did you know that you can dent dog food cans with your chest and not break a rib? LOL

Debt (of any kind) is Slavery

I'm originally from North Carolina, and so I had no idea what Juneteenth was. I'd never heard of it. It's pretty big in Texas. For those of you who don't know, Juneteenth, is derived from June 19th, and that was the day the Emancipation Proclamation was read to the slaves in Galveston, Texas, informing them that they were free.

It is one of those great coincidences that June 19th is the day that I decided that we were going to get out of debt. I didn't even realize the connection until some time later, but that is the day that I compiled for the first time a list of our debts. When we graduated from college I knew we had a lot of debt, and I had a rough idea of how much, but not an exact amount. I was actually afraid to add it all up. On June 19th last year, when I added up all of our debts, and saw the huge number on the screen in front of me, I cried. I knew it was bad, but seeing the number, and making it therefore real, hit me like a ton of bricks.

Now, we're not quite one year out and we have paid off our car and two of our small student loans. Small student loans that I once told my mother-in-law that I would just keep paying on because there was no way we could ever pay it all off. Now, I'm looking at having everything paid off in two years. There's more than one type of slavery. There is the obvious physical slavery, but there is another kind of slavery, one that is possibly worse than the physical kind, and that is slavery of the mind. If you believe that you will never get ahead, that the deck is stacked against you, that there's no use in trying, then you might as well consider yourself a slave. In that case, you are a slave to your mind.

 Yes, we may have limitations. Maybe the deck is stacked against us. Maybe we have to work within the framework of what we've been given, but to just give up? To accept that there are no possibilities? That's not an acceptable option. Not to me anyway. And maybe that's why I am where I am.

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." -Marty McFly, Back to the Future (my favorite movie of all time)

I take back what I said...

I said that painting a house couldn't be too hard. Famous last words. I don't think I had any idea what I was getting myself into. We started painting the porch yesterday, and I thought we could finish the whole thing before the end of the day, well, we got close but not finished. And that was only one porch. There are three. Our neighbor's son is going to paint the very high part of the eaves for me, and I didn't argue with them because, while I'm not afraid of heights, being sixteen feet up on a ladder isn't my idea of fun. Anyway, I think they offered to do that because we spent a week caulking everything really well, and so what they're paying us didn't consider all the caulking that needed to be done. At any rate, I'm about whooped after yesterday, I went to bed at 9pm and slept until 8am. On the bright side, I'd rather paint a house than work for a certain big-box-retailer-that-will-not-be-named. I'm not really sure that painting pays all that much better when you consider the hours put in, but I get to be outside.

Mamas, don't let your children grow up to be artists. Or at least not artists with massive amounts of student loans. It's not a good idea. It's easy to be an artist when you don't have Sallie Mae sleeping in your guest bedroom. We're working on kicking her out of our lives, it's just taking so long.

A flashback...
"This night will pass just like all the others." That's what I used to tell myself when I worked at a grocery store in high school. I really needed to grow a backbone then, and ought to have told those jerk faces to go to hell. They paid me minimum wage for two years, and I'm not entirely sure why I put up with them. The first two days on the job should have been a huge red flag. My drawer was short those first two days, and so I told my mother about it, wondering what I had done wrong with counting change. She asked me if I'd counted my drawer beforehand, and I'd said no. She said, 'you should always count your drawer before you start your shift.' The third day I demanded that it be counted before starting. It came up short by a lot.

Also, it's not like I liked working for them. I could have gotten a different job somewhere else that probably paid more, but I didn't. And looking back, I have no idea why. All that time wasted with assholes. The moral of this story? If you're not happy with things, then change them. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Debt is good... o rly?

I had meant to write about this the other night, but wound up ranting about something else instead. As I was leaving the classroom on Thursday evening, some students and I were talking about student loans, and I said that I wanted mine paid off, and that I never wanted any more debt ever again, not even a mortgage.

One of the students, who is not my student by the way, but one who had stopped by with friends who were my former students, said to me something to the effect, "Well, having debt is good because it makes your credit better, so that then the bank will give you a loan that you can maybe pay back eventually."

That caused me to blink a couple of times, and I couldn't address what they had said because we were half way out the door, but I wanted to say, 'do you hear what just came out of your mouth?' People, people, people. You've been sold a bill of goods. Quit buying crap you can't afford with money you don't have so that you wind up giving all of your disposable income to the bank in the form of interest payments! I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Add up what you're paying in interest on your debt, and put that into an IRA calculator with a 8% return over forty years (the market has averaged 12%, but we can be conservative on the matter). Don't try to cry too much. It will just make your allergies worse.

The Illusion of Security

Yesterday I went down to my hunting spot at the creek and swapped the card in the game camera. I like the camera I bought, it's a Wildgame Innovations Lightsout camera. I got it in January and have had it out for three months on the same set of AA batteries. The last trail cam I had was crap and ate through D batteries like they were going out of style or something. Anyway, the pictures are very nice, and I had a lot of deer coming through and a couple of racoons, a squirrel, and a pig too. I need to go down there and clear some more branches out of my way before it gets too hot to do anything outside.

Today I had a little bit of a meltdown. I've had a good amount of work lately, I'm an artist, but it's all contract work, and I guess I'd really like to have something a little more permanent. But maybe that's just an illusion, permanence I mean. Sure, someone can say a job is permanent, but as anyone who has read anything of history knows, nothing is really and truly permanent.

I think that the goal of paying off our loans over the last few months made a little distraction for me. I'm fairly goal-oriented, and so while I was working toward paying off the car and the two small student loans we had, my mind was preoccupied on that. However, now that that's all done, and we have two very big loans left that are going to take at least a couple years to pay off, and since we got hit with a huge tax bill this April, it feels like progress has stopped and now my brain has reverted to trying to figure out something else to do with my life. I don't know what that something else is. All I know is that, as much as I love it, a career in animation is unstable and unpredictable, and that the old fall back of teaching for a living is gone forever as a career. Colleges and universities have no intention of hiring permanent faculty of any sort, and are using primarily adjuncts to teach their classes. It saves them an enormous amount of money not to have to pay out things like health insurance, holiday pay, sick pay, pensions, etc. ad infinitum. Truly, with the easy availability of student loan monies to flow into their coffers, they are really focused on quantity rather than quality. The more students they can get in the door, the more money they make. This isn't an indictment of any particular school, but rather of the system itself. This system is in danger of degrading the quality and recognition of our higher eduction degrees. As more and more public money becomes tied up in higher eduction (even in private colleges and universities) the more likely it is that we will see "standards" implemented as we have in our public high schools. And we all know how well that's worked out for us as a society /snark.

I keep thinking that maybe I'd like to start my own studio, but I don't even know where to begin on that one. I'm not sure that I could run a business. My dad has great business sense, but I've never had a chance to try running anything, so who knows how that would go? I'm also over spending money on more schooling. I've already spent more than what many people pay for a house on my BFA. You may ask me if it were worth it, and I'm gonna have to ask that I get back to you on that one, because I think it's too soon to tell even though I've been out of school for eight years. Really, what people should be after when getting a degree of any sort, is whether said degree gives them an ROI or not. Otherwise, why bother? I mean, unless of course you have a trust fund or something, then by all means, waste all the money you want. For the rest of us poor plebes, the results of spending our hard earned money ought to be measured by whether it was financially worth it or not. And let's face it, some degrees aren't worth the paper they are written on.

Security is an illusion. It is marketed and sold to us in multiple forms, from the benign idea that getting a degree gives you some kind of job security (which is a lie), to the more devious sort, that if you give up your freedom, the government will ensure your safety (an even bigger lie).

Offer for a Loan at 30% Interest

The other day I got a loan offer in the mail from some company called Springleaf (if it looks like a payday lender, and sounds like a payday lender...) They say I can borrow $5,250 at get this - an interest rate of 29.43 percent. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed. I'm still laughing like two days later. Who in their right mind would borrow money at that interest rate. Actually, if you're borrowing money at any interest rate you need your head examined, but nearly 30%?! LOL What do I look like? Stupid?

I thought about sending the thing back to them with something funny written on it, but that would cost me a stamp, and I don't think it's worth that. Speaking of profitable, this company would exist if people didn't borrow money from them. People, people, people, you're not broke because you don't earn enough money at your job. You're broke because you keep giving the banks, the payday lenders, the mortgage company, the car loan company, the credit card companies, the Dept. of Education servicer, the loan sharks, etc. ad infinitum, all of your disposable income, and then some! Just STOP IT!

Makes me think of this:

 

"The borrower is SLAVE to the lender," and this is not rendered obsolete by the Thirteenth Amendment. When you are in debt up to your eyeballs, the debt informs your life, your choices, your career opportunities. The debt is your master, literally, and you, it's slave.

Daylight savings time... ugh!

I hate it when they change the time. Even though it's only an hour, it throws me completely off. As if that wasn't enough, I had just gotten everything cleaned up from the dogs, fed them, and made breakfast when my sister-in-law called me to tell me that there was a break in the water line up at the pump house. So we were without water for most of the afternoon. Luckily, my brother-in-law knows how to fix a pipe, and he got to work on it and after a trip to the hardware store got it fixed up (in the rain no less). It hasn't rained much in forever, and it rains today. It never fails that every time the in-laws go to Venice, something goes wrong.

At breakfast I read an article in the paper about how terrible it is that poor people have to pay more for college than rich people. I call shenanigans. That and I wonder what people are thinking when they have no money and go to a private school to get a degree they could have gotten at a State school. I wouldn't know anything about that /snark. To be fair though, when I got my degree, one could not get a degree in animation just anywhere. The choices were limited. Now however, they are not. Plenty of public universities offer degrees in animation/3d imaging/etc. And it's sheer stupidity to go to a private school when you are poor, unless you are getting the majority of it paid for in aid/grants that don't have to be paid back. IT'S STUPID. And I should know.

I forgot to write here the last couple of days because I've had my nose stuck in ancestry.com. I probably shouldn't have, but it's Spring break, so I signed up for a month of access. I have an interest in genealogy and every once in a while take another stab at where I left off. The only problem is, the more you research, the more people wind up in your tree, and the more work it takes to get back another generation. It's all exponential after all.

 I only had a little freelance today, and no school this week, so back to genealogy... maybe I should look at getting paid to research stuff LOL

It's the Debt, Stupid

I'm a big Dave Ramsey fan. Thanks to Dave, over the last year we have paid off our car and two of our small student loans. We still have two bigger loans that are going to take a while to pay off. Since I have a long drive to the college where I teach, I listen to Dave on the radio on the way there.

Something today clicked in my head while I was listening to his show. I'd known all of the facts for quite a while, but my brain hadn't put it together until now. Do you know why we are losing the middle class in this country? It's not the government, it's not that CEOs are making too much money, it's not a conspiracy theory (welllll...), it's not what the talking heads are telling you, it's not what you think. We are losing the middle class in this country because of debt. The middle class is up to their eyeballs in it. And when you're in debt, where is all your money going? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out! The American middle class has blamed the banks for the housing bust and Wall Street for a crappy economy. It's kinda like blaming the Grand Canyon for being a big hole in the ground. You're missing the real culprit. The Grand Canyon is a huge hole in the ground because the Colorado River running through it made it that way, much the same way that the middle class is becoming impoverished, being worn away, because of their embracing of debt.

Debt is not a tool. Paying hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands a year in INTEREST to the BANKS is not a useful tool. It makes you a tool maybe. But it is not one. This acceptance of debt is fairly new. Our ancestors didn't do it, because you could go to debtors' prison if you didn't pay. Our parents didn't do it either, even though debtors' prison was long since gone. Back when my parents were young, you couldn't get a credit card unless you had a very high income, beyond what the middle class made on average. You couldn't get a mortgage unless you had 20% down and a steady job for three years. Student loans were only for certain programs. There was no way you could possibly live beyond your means. No one would loan you the money to do it.

Fast forward to the nineties, and cheap and easy credit is everywhere. You can run up all kinds of debt. You can get a car loan, a house loan, a second mortgage, hell why not a third mortgage, a student loan, enough credit cards to fill in the Grand Canyon, and if you hit the limit, don't worry, the bank will raise your limit (especially if they're a predatory lender). Eventually, you over-extend yourself, and they raise your interest rates, and now a large portion of your income is going to the banks. You apply for more credit cards to cover the shortfall in your income, and then eventually you wind up filing bankruptcy. But it doesn't end there. After you file bankruptcy, you can get yourself right back into the same mess again. You'll get credit card offers in the mail almost immediately, and they'll give you more credit. Isn't that brilliant?

And the crazy thing is, that this mentality of debt being acceptable has worked its way so thoroughly into the psyche of the middle class (and even the so-called working poor), that they don't care how much interest they are paying, just tell them what the payments are and they'll see if they can squeeze it into the amount that they are capable of paying out each month. A good example of this is the conversation I had with one of my students. He said he was going to go buy a used car that cost probably about the same as what he makes in a year. He had no idea what the interest rate was going to be (it's usually very high on a used car). All he knew was that the payments were affordable. I tried to talk him out of it, but he didn't understand what the problem was. After all, he said he could make the payments with no problem. The idea of saving up and buying a car outright was a foreign concept. Another student told me she had no problem making payments on a bedroom set and some other furniture because, "the payments aren't much." The rich are getting richer because they're investing their money. The poor are getting poorer because they're giving all of their disposable income to the banks!

Debt has allowed the majority of the middle class to live beyond their means and give a hefty percentage of their income to the banks. If you're in debt, add up what you're paying in interest every year. And then go stick that number into a mutual fund calculator with returns showing thirty or so years. Try not to cry. As is so often true in life, if you want to know where the blame lies, go look in the mirror.

The Real World: Not a fun place for the Unprepared

I have a hard time understanding the unmotivated and careless. It frustrates me to no end. I myself am very motivated, almost to the point of being cutthroat at times (I have to restrain myself). I also care about what I'm interested in. The same can't be said of some. They stumble through life, not bothering to assess whether what they are doing is working or not. They're quick to blame others for their own mistakes, and as a result, learn nothing.

Then there's the other extreme, the ones who are so focused on their own thing, that they won't follow simple instructions. You're bothering them with your instructions. Did I mention that I teach college? I'm just a part-time adjunct, but I love teaching, it's really a fun exercise (on occasion it may seem in futility). There are always students who I just want to take by the shoulders and shake them like they do in the old movies and ask them if they understand how the decisions they are making now are going to wind up ruining the rest of their lives. Or maybe not ruining per se, but rather making their futures limited and incredibly difficult. I couldn't do that though. It's no longer socially acceptable to tell people the truth.

At any rate, if you desire to be an artist, you should avoid student loans. They are a burden. "The borrower is slave to the lender," which coincidentally, wasn't coined yesterday despite the looming student loan debt crisis in this country. It's from the Bible (Prov. 22:7). Even people from thousands of years ago understood that debt was bad, even if they did think the earth was quite flat. You have a whole generation of people now who don't understand the correlation between their situation and their outstanding debts. They wonder where all their money goes (to the banks), and they wonder why the can't get ahead (quit making stupid decisions). It's easy to be a starving artist when you don't have Sallie Mae breathing down your neck. But try waiting tables with private art school debt hanging over your head (or any other kind of debt for that matter). If you have no debt, the conversation becomes completely different.

Speaking of the Bible, I think some of my student are offended at the religion that makes up the majority of traditional art. I wonder if they understand that for painters a long time ago, it was the church paying the artists' bills and putting food on the table. I don't know what they're doing in high schools nowadays, but most of my students have never heard of many of the old artists whose work hangs in museums around the world. In the twelve years that they spend in grade school funded by the taxpayer, their education didn't even include bothering to mention Degas, Renoir or Monet or anyone else of note. They've only heard of Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo because of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. How can one aspire to be an artist without having studied art? Some are obviously not even interested in the field they're supposedly trying to enter. I suppose I could understand that if there was money involved, however, the stereotype of the starving artist is a stereotype for a reason. Either you love art, or what are you doing in it?

It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life. It's an entire other thing to go into thousands of dollars in debt and not know why you're doing it. If you need to find yourself, it's much cheaper to backpack in Europe than pay for college. You might also see the paintings of some famous artists while you're there.

Life in the early 21st century

Once when I was backpacking in Europe (which doesn't happen often enough because I'm not rich), while in Venice, Italy, a fellow traveler at the hostel we were staying at, saw me writing in a journal.  She asked me if I kept a journal as a matter of course. I looked at her as though she had three heads, and I told her, 'no.' She asked me why not, and I replied that I was only keeping a journal during my trip because honestly, nothing interesting ever happened at home that was worth making note of.

As of late, I've rather changed my mind on the matter.

I'm an artist, specifically a medical animator. I work freelance from home, I like writing, and am trying to finish a novel that I'd like to see published. I'm married (he's an artist too) and we have a black lab named Sammy who likes to lay right behind my desk chair (which is where he is right now).

We're trying to get out of debt. Private art college will put you fairly deep in the hole (ask me another time about how stupid that was). I'm not much of the gambling sort, but I suppose we might have beat the house for once. We'll see how our hand plays out in the long run.

I'm allergic to dairy and to soy. It really kinda sucks. I can't eat regular chocolate, and pastries are off limits. As is cheese, butter, cream, sour cream, etc., and a whole host of other food stuffs. My husband is gluten intolerant, it causes him digestive problems and his excema to break out. We're quite a pair when we go out to eat (which doesn't happen often since we're trying to get out of debt). If I ever get back to France, it will be a sad day when I peer into the Patisserie and can't buy anything except a plain baguette.

I've tried to learn Spanish, French, German, Italian and Japanese. I'm very good at English, but not so much at any other language. A smile and a hand gesture will go a long way though.  I'm planning on going backpacking in Scotland in a couple of years, and at least most of them speak English there. Well, sorta. 

I despise liars (and therefore most politicians) and do not belong to any political party. If you're a Democrat, I'll probably make you mad at some point. If you're a Republican, the same applies to you. It's my blog though, so if you don't like it, get over it or move along.

I have this insane notion that all people are created equal, that you determine the outcome of your life, that we should all mind our own business, and that we have plenty of laws on the books as it is and we don't need any more.

Here it is, The Life of (and if you're wondering, my initials look like 'pi' when written quickly). Honestly, it fits, as I can be fairly irrational sometimes.